Stay Positive

In one of my favorite books..."March" by Geraldine Brooks, the story is told in the perspective of Mr. March (the father in Louisa Alcott's "Little Women"). If you know the story of Little Women, Mr. March is away at war and his family anxiously awaits his return. In "March", he writes homes everyday as promised, but he manages to write about what is going on...yet not really tell his wife and daughters what's happening because he fears it would be too much for them to bear. The reason I thought of this book is because in a way I feel like this must be how my sister Martha feels right about now.
Martha was recently diagnosed with cancer. She had a cyst removed and they found cancer cells in her fallopian tubes. It is an aggressive and very rare cancer...so the Dr. is doing some testing to see if it's genetic in origin...but in the meantime chemo has already started (this past week.) Martha..............who runs, swims, golfs, skies, does yoga,not to mention work as a hospital administrator. And we have already lost a sister, Jenifer, to rectal cancer, three years ago...so the diagnosis is even more troubling. It appears that they caught it early and there's no doubt Martha is a force to be reckoned with...but it is cancer. So for now the treatment has started and Martha sends us updates and tries her best to put a positive spin on things...but it must be hard for her to stay "UP" and to keep us all "Up"....and yesterday she sent a note and a picture and I saw it and that's when I just fell apart. John walked in a few minutes later and I think I scared him half to death...and then when I managed to say why I was crying...he calmed me down and understood. But I HATE that Martha feels the weight of not just her illness, the chemo side effects and uncertainty...but also the weight of all of us...hanging on for positive news...hoping for the best, wanting everything to be okay.
So yesterday I cried a bit...but now I am going to do my best to be strong, be positive and pray for the strength and courage we will all need to get through this latest challenge...and I am looking forward to next spring...when we are going to be on that cruise Martha and I talked about!